Day 6: 11,009 Words
I’ve entered quintuple digits, which also means I’ve more than doubled my original word count (remember, I started this project with about 8000 words written plus a couple thousand more in notes and random scenes). It’s hard! Anyway, I decided that Mondays are good days for excerpts, so here’s Mark’s dad:
Also, I don’t think she like’s Mark’s dad. We used to talk about how weird it would be if they ever got together, since she’s a single mom and he’s a single dad, and at least they go to the same church and have the same moral ideas and everything. But she really is not into him. I guess I can’t really blame her. From my perspective he’s alright, he’d make an okay stepdad. He still makes Mark his lunch for school and the two of them are like best friends. He’s a software engineer or something, he makes descent money. But he is all skinny and a bit funny looking – his hair is just a little too long, not like he’s a hippie, but it hangs in his eyes like he forgot to cut it when he was due a couple months ago, and he’s got these big glasses that make him look like an owl. He doesn’t dress very well – he wears these weirdly thick canvas shirts that he tucks into his too-tight pants that kinda show his junk, which you really do not want to see in an old guy.
Today’s Word Count: 2760
Total Project Word Count: 11,009
This is a relatively short excerpt. But the voice I’m hearing in my head isn’t sounds “slangy” or “grammatically sloppy” enough that the phrase “he doesn’t dress very well” rings untrue to me. would it be better as “doesn’t dress very good”?
I don’t know if this is the type of feedback you’re hoping for, if it’s too nitpicky for this phase/you don’t want to be bothered with that trifling stuff yet, but, eh… I thought I’d mention it.
Although I’m not planning on revising this stuff just yet, any sort of critiquing is totally welcome.
also, WOW, can I ever not write sentences. I can’t even hope to fix it all, but at least: doesn’t, instead of isn’t>
srsly